What would it be like to know the future? What if you were able to close your eyes, be still, and see it unfold before you like a high-definition movie? What if you could see all of your successes, all of your failures, all of your joys and disappointments in advance? What if you knew what your wealth and health status would be tomorrow, next month, and ten years from now? What if you could see all the trials and challenges your children will face as they grow into adults? What if you could see the people who won’t be part of your future?

When I slow down and ponder these questions for myself, I balk. I’ve been through some things, and watched my friends and family go through some things, that had I known about in advance, I don’t think I would have had the courage to face them. I think I would have done everything in my power to avoid them. But if I had been successful at avoiding, I would have missed out on all the learning they provided.

Even with this in mind, I am shocked at how much time I spend thinking and worrying about the future. How will the call with my upset client go? Am I saving enough for retirement? Will my children’s children be healthy? Will I be able to pay for their education? What will the weather be tomorrow? Will my flight be delayed? How will I find time to exercise?

It seems my mind can cover a lot of ground in a really short period of time, and I tend to focus on things that are out of my immediate control. Fortunately, I am in good company. Many of my client’s wrestle with this same dilemma, and because I can relate, we have good conversations where I can be empathetic and offer support.

This post focuses on the distinction between being present rather than future-casting. I’m not sure where I got the term future-casting from, and I doubt it is original to me. Most likely, I came across it somewhere in my reading or personal development.

Definition time:

Present: as a verb – to aim, point, or direct (something, such as your focus) so as to face something or in a particular direction

Future: as an adjective – existing or occurring at a later time

I am an introspective person. I spend an inordinate amount of time rolling things over in my mind. I love trying to solve problems, to unravel situations in advance of needing them. In many ways, this serves me quite well, because I often have thought things through before I act. This is especially true when I am building something.

Several years ago, I built a deck off the back of my house. I thought it through for months. In my mind, I built it, tore it down, and rebuilt it over and over until I finally had it right. Then I went out, bought the materials, and built the deck. Because my wife didn’t know about the mental process I had been going through, she thought I was just winging it. She also thought I was a magician when I finished, and it looked like a professional job.

The same applies in my work life when I design leadership development meetings or give keynote speeches. I spend weeks and months rolling things over. It looks like I’m not preparing. It looks and feels like I’m procrastinating. And then suddenly, I pull out a PowerPoint template and in a matter of hours, the presentation is complete. Voila!

This kind of future-casting is healthy, and it’s not what I’m talking about in this post. Planning is good—it saves you time in the end, and it produces better results.

I’m talking about the future-casting that causes your heart to beat too fast. The future-casting that wakes you up in the middle of the night worrying or has you so distracted you can’t remember if you even stopped at the stop signs on the way home. The kind that has you rehearse both sides of a conversation a hundred times. The kind that robs you of your peace, replacing it with overwhelming anxiety and fear. You know, that future-casting.

There was a period of about a year where I consistently woke up around 1 a.m. with some problem on my mind. I would work the problem over for hours. Not the “I’m going to solve this” kind of work-over. The “I’m scared of what might happen” kind. It really got out of control—I solved nothing, and the lack of sleep started impacting other areas of my life.

As so often happens, a chapter of a book I was reading began talking about battling this type of scenario with the practice of being present. The author discussed his own experience of practicing being present with the feel of the sheets, the contour of the pillow, his breathing, etc. He kept bringing his focus back to what was present and true right in the moment.

So, I adopted his practice. For the nights following that, whenever I would wake up in worry, I would practice focusing on how quiet the house was, the rhythm of my breathing, the feel of the sheets, anything and everything that was fact, that was real right in that moment. I practiced being present instead of future-casting. And I found myself falling back to sleep easily. I still practice this when I wake up in the middle of the night and want to drift off again (sometimes I don’t want to, but that’s for a different post).

As I experienced this practice helping me in my sleep behaviors, I extended it to other areas of my life and brought it into conversations with my clients. It had the same effect. By being present, by focusing my attention on what is true right in this moment, I experienced a higher degree of calmness. I made better decisions. I get more accomplished and at a higher quality. I have significantly less anxiety now, and I tend to be more patient and more kind.

Recently I was with a client for several days in a row. Early on, I noticed he was extremely melancholy, which is quite different than how he normally presents. At one point, I began asking him questions to explore what was behind his emotion. He began talking about his concerns for his professional career, where he was going to live (he’s unhappy with his current geographical location—flat and hot), how he was going to pay for his children’s college education (two boys, one ten months old and the other six years), his desire to replace his wife’s old car and her resistance to it, etc. I asked him how long he had been feeling this way.

“Months, and it’s getting old,” he replied.

It was quite a list, and it was a very heavy burden. And though I was empathetic with him, I also didn’t want to leave him in that state. So, I began asking questions about what was true in all those areas right in that moment.

He has an incredibly successful career as a Naval Flight Officer. He consistently scores high on the various certifications required to advance in his career. He loves his job (though of course there are aspects he doesn’t always like). His children are bright, happy and healthy. He has saved money for both retirement and general savings. He lives in a very safe neighborhood with good schools. His relationship with his wife continues to grow and expand in a positive direction.

And I kept asking the same question over and over. “Tell me more,” I instructed. And he did.

After about an hour, his countenance had completely changed. His spirit was uplifted, and his energy was higher. Over the next couple of days, I could see him move back and forth from melancholy to calm. When I asked what was happening, he told me he was practicing being present every time he caught himself future-casting. He began to realize his default was to future-cast, and that to stay present required that he consciously practice. His motivation to continue the practice was the contrast in how it made him feel and the experience others around him had.

Where are you future-casting, and is it causing you anxiety, dis-ease, frustration and/or fear? Where do you need to move by design into being present, consciously focusing on what is right in front of you, on what is happening right now and what you can control?